


PIECES OF YOU

by TheBroken



Category: citrus - サブロウタ | citrus - Saburouta
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Canon Lesbian Relationship, Erotica, F/F, Feels, Love, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-13
Updated: 2020-12-13
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:00:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28020549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheBroken/pseuds/TheBroken
Summary: After an intimate evening, Mei asks Yuzu a question that has been puzzling her troubled heart:"When I betrayed you...'"How did you forgive me?"
Relationships: Aihara Mei/Aihara Yuzu
Comments: 4
Kudos: 32





	PIECES OF YOU

**Author's Note:**

> I'll admit it:
> 
> I began Citrus out of curiosity; I stayed for the wonderful characters, the beautiful art, and especially- the love, the tender feelings, and the romance! This little story is all about feelings...of all kinds. 
> 
> Settle down with a box of your softest tissues.
> 
> Please enjoy.

Not for the first time, the two lovers were mindful later that evening at how physical intimacy had so often led to a more open emotional affinity between them, a conversation between their bodies that freed the convolution of question, and answer, the communion of the synergy of thought and pure emotion. It became a conveyance of receptiveness, trust, and vulnerability, foundation stones in any deep relationship.

Mei had initiated their lovemaking wordlessly earlier. 

She was in her realm with touch- the senses were a door that opened at her will to translating and receiving desire and need; even more complex conversation was not out of bounds. She had been delighting in showing her Yuzu tenderness by employing the massage techniques she had learned from the girl herself, during the many times she had rubbed vibrant and supple life into her tense muscles; for from there, the contact and sheer sensual pleasure could easily turn thought and feeling in the direction of emotional openness, communication- even physical love, as she hoped it would tonight. Her lover was on her back, her clothing a bare minimum, the front of her body having been gently, but surely kneaded until a rosy glow pervaded the enticingly smooth skin, her face wearing an expression of contentment. The shapely curve of the generous pink lips had proven an irresistible temptation to the Ebon- haired beauty; she ever so slowly worshipped them with a tender, deep kiss as her fingers traced her desire in lovers braille down Yuzu's now trembling body.

The gorgeous blonde was more than receptive. With a look that betrayed eagerness on her every feature, she slowly sat up and began kissing her lover back, with unhurried grace that was remarkable given the pounding of her heart. It had always been like that for the girls- their thoughtful and somewhat mystical friend Suzuran had told them that they were two halves of one soul and that their hearts were the beating of one when they touched each other. Whatever was the case, it remained this way: together, the two hearts _were_ visibly pounding, in perfect sync; the trembling of the artery under the sumptuous flesh of the neck was a mirror in both splendid girls. They rose from the bed to allow unhampered stroking of their lush figures, their faces buried in each other's hair now, to enjoy its ambrosial and intoxicating scent.

" _MMMMM! Yuzu... you smell so good!_ " the Violet- eyed girl mumbled, her voice throaty with pleasure and desire.

She delicately broke the contact momentarily, from where the lush blonde had been fondling her nipples beneath her clothes, driving the physically sensitive girl to the point of distraction. Gently, the dark-haired goddess had begun to remove her own clothing, until her lover had, in equal silence, halted her and carefully undressed her instead. She stood in her naked glory before her, her breath beginning to catch from excitement as she looked with longing into the warm and open face of her partner. Then in that magnificent and graceful gesture that she knew well that Mei loved, she had seemingly, in the blink of an eye, divested herself of her own simple garments, the panties falling effortlessly as she stepped out of them like a dancer, and the brassiere' loosed in a trice, the things she'd worn for her massage. Her tantalizing, well-shaped breasts bouncing slightly as she eased herself back on the side of the bed, she was now adorned in no more than her flushed, soft skin and her simple silver band on her ring finger that was the mate of its' twin her intended wore. The Heavenly Violet eyes watched her with an intensity bordering on reverence; each time she saw her beloved in her nature she saw a new and wonderful canvas to compose her declaration of passion upon.

The osculation's of their adroit and graceful fingers had grown bolder, their kisses more transparent, and their artfulness in all matters of intimacy, more effective, more masterful, in the time since they had started making love. Though they could still be shy, and though there was so much yet to master, and either could still be rendered a blushing and bashful spectacle under the right circumstances, fast becoming a memory were those early times of unsureness, embarrassment; of timidity; either girl now knew they could please the other, fulfill the other, complete the other, each time their devotion repaid them, it seemed, with a new revelation, a new piece of the puzzle that was the intricate and magnolious inter-connection of their bodies, their hearts, and minds.

_What new element would enter the realm of the one which two became?_

_What mystery would their questing and tender bodies divulge the secret of tonight?_

_And so, the dance begins..._

_And so, the dance began!_

Although the sojourn into the physical had been beautiful...their well-matched and exquisite bodies and fingers roaming at will, touching, kissing, licking in ecstasy as the pink, warm wetness of their tongues chose their marks, now intoxicating, sweet wetness spread into the caressing lips of one face, now golden hair cast like a coverlet upon two ivory thighs, now two bodies which joined in a soft chorus of moans as they tumbled, head to foot, until the blessed moment of mutual release as they quaked from the heat that stirred in their damp loins which left them all but sobbing and gasping- yes, it had been magnificent- but it was as they lay in each other's arms, flushed, damp, panting, and fulfilled, that fresh realization came, as they engaged in the pursuit of their mutual and rich enjoyment of pillow talk afterward.

For it was in these post- bliss moments that they both were at their most revelatory, their most emotionally transparent. Sometimes joking, sometimes wondering- and sometimes, very serious, indeed.

The lithesome Violet-eyed goddess propped up on one elbow; her free hand ranged over her lover's tempting curves to no embarrassment of their bearer. Yuzu was finally losing her shyness after realizing that her body held all her lover could desire. She now bore the contemplation of her lover with pride and enjoyment, an acceptance that could make even her honest nakedness another pleasure for them both. Mei apparently could not caress her enough, her hand moved from the face, to neck, to breasts, and so down to the well-shaped legs, as the two spoke to each other. It would most likely be another night in which they made love until the late hours, the weekend time they both so cherished.

"Let's go to a deserted beach somewhere, Angel!" she said dreamily, 'Somewhere where we will never be found, on the edge of the earth where we've erased our footprints behind us." It in fact was a dream Mei had cherished for a long time, ever since... and there was that memory, the memory of the time she had left her love for an engagement to a man she didn't know, all at the behest of "Family."

That day _she had left her beloved_ , dead inside and with a pain that knew no end, she had thought this very thing, all day long while she cried. And not enough time had passed between then and now, to allow her the strength to cast the Hell of that time aside.

 _"Goddamn it!'_ she thought, _'Will I never stop haunting myself with my own ghost?"_

She turned her head down and held the sweet blonde's graceful hand in her own elegant, slim fingers. The lovely moment was crowded by a shadow. A thousand thoughts at once...too many to grasp one and run. _The logogriph_ of her Autistic mind. _"Focus... No! Calm... Gather... the pieces of... me..."_

Her lover knew the moods of the girl well, she had spent countless hours in the deciphering of the shorthand of her gesture, the subtle signals of a slight change of position, the volumes that she didn't speak indicated by the tone of her voice. A natural empath, she was the quiet girl's interpreter, the priestess who scried the particolored mosaic that was the puzzle of her emotions. The many, many sessions of therapy they attended together had paid dividends above and beyond what they had ever dreamed of. When something would arise now, Yuzu was prepared as she had never been to help get her lover's mind back on an even keel.

"Mei,' she softly asked, 'are you being troubled by something you're thinking, Honey? Can we talk?" She drew the taller girl closer, laying her head on her shoulder, and beginning to stroke her hair and face, leaning in for a gentle, loving kiss to help put her at ease, and allow her to open up emotionally. She had found by experience that it was simple but astonishingly effective- they had never communicated better together than they did now. The careful blonde girl waited patiently, seeing her lover go thru the stages of freeing her feelings into the expression of words.

"Yuzu..." Mei began.

 _"It must be serious,'_ Yuzu thought, reading the mood expertly, _'She's keeping her head on my shoulder, and trying not to look at me!"_ She continued her tender caressing, moving down to the perfect white shoulders, her touch transpicuous. She felt a slight shiver in the sensitive body. _"Very serious!"_ she corrected herself.

She continued, "Yuzu... when I... when I... left... that time to... be engaged." She stopped a moment. The other had no idea what had triggered this, but she continued her tender ministrations. This would come out when it did, and in the way it would.

"I'm sorry to bring that memory up. But something I just said... triggered me."

"It's okay, Honey,' came the reply, 'Your feelings are important. We can discuss _anything;_ you _know_ that!"

"Thank you, Angel. I... I love you so much. M-more than..." She kissed the gentle girl's hands, her mind a jumble of grateful, effusive emotion.

"I know, sweet Baby, and I love you with all my soul." She stroked the dark hair; the suddenly melancholy girl would soon reveal what troubled her.

Mei thought a moment. Her therapy might not have taught her the way to cast this devil out quite yet-but she _had_ learned how to employ openness and dialogue to help deal with it. Gone was the tormented girl who had suffered a lifetime in silent pain...and _rage._

She gathered her focus and spoke again. "When I did that, I know I hurt you. I... hurt us both. I was already mentally ill, but I became _so sick afterward_... the knowledge...'

She started shaking, Yuzu took her in her arms and held her close. She saw the powerful effort the other made to keep her emotions from overwhelming her. She was so proud of her, and the strength she had gained in these long months of therapy and Yuzu's loving care, that the shaking soon halted and she regained her voice.

 _"Fragile,'_ Yuzu thought, _'but slowly, and_ _surely, healing!"_

"...the knowledge that I had hurt _you,_ that I had broken _your... blameless... pure heart...'_ she shuddered before continuing. ' I wondered when I returned; when you accepted me back and loved me just like I hadn't... done what I had... I wondered: _How, Yuzu? How did you love and forgive me... when I had..."_ She shook her head in disbelief, whether at her own past actions or her lovers'- or both, the intensely focused blonde girl could not fathom.

_"Is it because you really are an Angel? I don't understand."_

She finally looked up, her stunning Violet eyes damp, and brimming with a strange mixture of adoration and puzzlement.

Yuzu looked into those eyes, marveling, not for the first time, at the workings of her lover's mind. So thoughtful, so brilliant- often, so difficult to reach... _and sometimes, so like the most innocent child._

She smiled for that precious child within her, before answering in a sweet, calm, and gentle voice.

"I'm no Angel, honey. I might be _your Angel,_ now, if you say, but... Mei, when you left, I found your letter, and yes, I was devastated. The girl I adored was leaving me. I did not blame. I did not accuse, or recriminate. Because I had already long before guessed that you were suffering mental illness... and some underlying difference in the way you worked inside that made you an easy victim to the will and manipulation of others, to your sense of honor and duty to your family, for instance, in this case. But I prayed you would be happy. I held to the idea that somehow, call it Fate or the Heavens, things would work out for us both."

Mei continued to listen in silence, her lover could see she was absorbing every word, and their many meanings.

"You've told me of the agony you went through, Baby. But you were forced into actions you simply were not strong enough to refuse, because of your emotional difficulties, your background of obedience to family, and the horrendous torture of mental illness. That's one reason you're in therapy, and I joined you. It was one of the best decisions either of us ever made! The best was pledging our love forever!' And here they both smiled endearingly at each other, Yuzu delighted in the way the truth of those simple words had lifted her lover's heart. 'But I, just as you did,' and she gave the Ivory perfection of Mei's cheek a soft caress, ' went thru the torments of the damned. As with you, I had been separated, as if by a knife, from my only, my For Always, the one who completed me and for whom I was the same. It was the worse six months of my life. It crushed me, it wounded me, it broke me, just as it did you... but in the end... in the end, wouldn't you agree we are now both stronger, healthier people, in every way? That we now face and deal with our problems, instead of hiding from them as we both often did; that we are transparent with our thoughts and needs, That somehow, we are both coming out wiser, more understanding, and more mature and prepared for any struggles that lie ahead for us?"

"Yes, Yuzu!" Mei said thoughtfully, "I know, even though I have far to go, that I am profoundly better... and I see it in you every day, you're like a rock!

"Mm-hmm! I'm certainly getting there, anyway! But it wasn't always so! Though I still have my problems, I'm the new improved Yuzu! I was kind of really messed up myself before any of these things ever happened to me! Oh yes,' she said, as Mei seemed to be about to disagree with her.

"Mei, I was anxiety-prone, nervous, paranoid, obsessed... No end of troubles! That focus of mine you admire often blinded me to _your_ needs and _your_ attempts to communicate with _me_., causing me to misread many unfortunate situations we didn't have to experience... _because I was frequently focusing my intentions only on us as a couple, making me lose sight of the needs of you, and I, as individuals And that was pure selfishness on the one hand, and counter-productive on the other! " S_he shook her head, memories of past missteps returning to the percipience of her self of this moment, that made her wonder at the foolishness of the headstrong girl she had been two years before.

"But somewhere between then and when I showed up and crashed your wedding plans..."

"My heroine!" Mei said in admiration.

Yuzu smiled. "Thank you, Honey! .. Somewhere between those times, something clicked inside me. _I realized- and not to make myself out as something amazing, which I sure as Hell am not!- I was the answer, that I was all that could save_ _us both_...with some heavy help from our friends, of course! It was _scary_ , because I'm just this person I am, nothing special outside of that, but I had this immense task only I could perform if we both were to be saved untold misery! And I came to the understanding that, as broken, as flawed as I was, there was a summation of those pieces of me that could still wield considerable power. And, although we and our lives and love with it, seemed to be in tatters, there was a power above the small person I am that could rebuild _all_ _that,_ and transform it into an unshakable whole again!"

"That power _was... LOVE._ Plain and simple. That's what had been lifting me up, and strengthened me all thru my sorrows, and pushed me forward beyond what I was in the end. And I knew it would do the same for you... and we two, together. And so, it has!"

Mei looked at her, a question on her face. "I know your love is strong... it's almost overwhelming, Yuzu! And I'm grateful mine fills me to bursting for you, so I might give back as much as I can... but... but... what was it, when I broke... _when I had betrayed you..."_ She had forced herself to utter the despised words, and spat them out like _filth;_ to speak of hurting her Yuzu was the _vilest_ profanity to her now.

Wishing to purify her lips, she kissed her lover's hands, and held them to her face, "When I did... what I did- It had to be terrible. How was it you could keep wanting me, even then? I still can't comprehend it! How could you forgive _**that...** and **me...** And just keep on loving me?"_

Yuzu felt a dampness on her hands and kissed the fragile girl before answering.

"It's true Mei! My heart was broken...but there is a strange power to love, that sometimes, surpasses understanding. When you left, and my heart was in shards, it was still a heart that loved you, that longed for you, that awaited only your return, above all pain, or anything else inflicted on it... It was broken, torn to bits... but it loved you! More than anyone on earth!... _More,'_ she vowed, _'than it's_ _own life."_

_She once again kissed the peerless and sweet lips of her For Always. Her lover trembled at the truth, simple grace, and humility of her words._

_The love that flowed between them in that moment of silence- that was so much more than the cessation of speech- caused their hearts to thrum in tandem like the unfathomable and terrible wheels of fire empowered to turn the Earth._

_And somewhere beyond time, Heaven must have wondered, and Hell shuddered in fear when the guileless girl gave her answer._

_"My heart was crushed, Mei, shattered to flinders..._ her voice was a barely audible whisper over the sound of the pounding in their chests.

_"But I just kept on loving you with the pieces."_

**Author's Note:**

> This is my twenty- first story here on Archive; all have been for Citrus! I hope you all are enjoying the ride... because, I certainly am!
> 
> I love you for being my readers...you have given me so much pleasure!
> 
> Thank you for your support, and, as always, thank you to Saburouta Sensei, the founder of the feast! I'll see you again very soon with another Citrus story!


End file.
